Today I'm going to talk about my work ethic.
First of all, for those who don't know me personally, some context: I'm currently in my final year at a boys-only private school. Other schools think we're posh and stuck-up, given how we dress in suits and ties on a daily basis, and how our buildings could be mistaken for a castle. The school itself is very competitive in terms of academia; a great deal of effort is put into helping the students applying to the prestigious universities of Cambridge or Oxford (known collectively as Oxbridge), and the dozen or so who are successful are later thrust into the spotlight with their names and subjects being announced on the website with pride.
Before I go on, you should understand that this situation isn't a particularly easy one. I'm writing about intelligence and work ethics, but there's no clear indication of how much evidence I should give. As in, I can't just make a point and leave it unjustified; after all, as any scientist would know, a claim without grounds should be approached with caution. And at the same time, if I
do give a tangible number to relate to, it may come across as big-headedness, you know? For instance, if I ever mention that 95% is the lowest score of the ten Maths modules I've taken so far, the looks on people's faces seem to say 'Well then, no need to show off. No-one likes a smartarse'. Perhaps it's just me being paranoid. I guess it all begs the question of why I'm even writing this at all if I'm worried about how it will be interpreted, but that's another matter entirely.
Now, I've always felt comfortable in a classroom. Say what you like about Chinese stereotypes, but I set myself high standards in practically every academic activity I do. I'm retaking a Chemistry unit in which I got 87% the first time round, for example, simply because I'm pretty sure that I can do better. I guess you could say that I'm my own Asian parent. As in, why
shouldn't you just aim to do the best that you can? I often hear people say things like 'Oh, I only need 70% in this paper to get an A overall'. Sure, it gives you some perspective, but I don't think it's the right attitude at all. Despite what might come across here, I try not to think too much about scores and percentages – I enter the exam room with the mindset that I am going to do myself proud, and at the end of it all I should get a grade that I deserve.
Maybe it was the way I was brought up. My parents aren't the kind of strict why-you-no-get-A* parents. They trust me to get on with whatever I'm doing, which is great – come to think of it, I don't think they've ever had to explicitly tell me to work harder. When I was growing up, they would entertain me about the world to see what would pique my interest: my mother, a general practitioner, would tell me all sorts of things about human biology, such as how chromosomes work and how it links to my
colour blindness. Meanwhile, my father used his background as a civil engineer to take charge of maths and physics; I remember him teaching me about prime numbers a good two years before I met them at school. And look at me now, taking Further Maths at A-level, acting as a maths tutor for two girls and still wondering whether I should've applied for Maths at university instead.
Okay, the counterargument is quite obvious here. 'But Aiden, not everybody is as academically-orientated as you! Some people would be ecstatic to get a B!' Sure, sure. I'm not saying that everybody should aim for absolute perfection. Set yourself targets that are achievable, and it's not the end of the world if you don't get them. You have no excuse not to try your hardest. Even if the education system doesn't suit you at all, find something you enjoy and strive for it; I don't expect any less.
Alarmingly often, I read journals from other people complaining about their school life for one reason or another. It makes me realise how lucky I am to be able to say that I enjoy going to school every week, and I'm fortunate that my parents can afford the annual fee of £11,000 without need of financial aid. This fact certainly isn't something I take for granted.
You see, most of the time, the only pressure to do well comes from myself. I set myself goals, and I am the only one to blame if I fall short. I get the impression that a lot of people just
expect me to do well – for example, a few months ago, a common topic amongst my peers was who would be accepted into Oxbridge, and who would be disappointed. One conversation which stays quite clear in my memory was a passing comment from a close friend: "Oh, you'll get in. I don't know about me, though." He said it so casually, with a hint of reserved acceptance, instead of the pure intention of wishing me good luck (which was something we had previously been politely obliged to do). It's almost as if I'd become a sort of benchmark against whom people can compare themselves. Somehow the lack of pressure ironically makes it more of a burden... and the thing is, despite what the universities themselves say, there
is an element of luck involved in the application process. There's a chance of me not getting in, just like there would be with anybody else applying, so what would happen then? I've been telling people that I'd happily go to my insurance choice of Imperial College London, but I honestly can't say how much truth there is in that statement. I suspect that my school's unwritten mentality of Oxbridge-or-nothing has a lot to do with that.
You know, I sometimes wonder if I have atychiphobia, or a fear of failure. Sure, I've received grades that have dipped well below my usual standard before. I don't think anyone can claim to have done otherwise. The only difference is that I'd see anything below an A as a disappointment. (Hell, even my blood type is A+.) I'm pretty sure that the letters scrawled at the top of the page bear on my conscience far longer than they would for most people. They taunt me, saying 'Well well, not so clever now, are we?', reminiscent of the people who see nerds like me as easy targets who won't fight back. I end up getting worked up over why the results came out as they did – was it nothing more than a little blip? A moment of weakness, perhaps? Or was there something which I genuinely didn't grasp? I'm only human, after all. As cliché as it may sound, I use every sub-par grade as motivation not to let my guard down, lest I bring disgrace upon myself once again.
There are few things I dislike more than wasted time. Time has by far the most potential of anything that we can claim to own, so to waste it is to limit your own capacity to achieve. Occasionally I'll look back over a Sunday afternoon spent aimlessly on Facebook or YouTube, and I'll kick myself for not using the hours to do something productive. I could've built something, or clarified my Physics notes, or even done one of 'the things I'll get round to someday' like learning to code. But no, instead I let myself be dragged into the repetitive world of short-term Internet entertainment, and I hate myself for it.
Thankfully I did get an Oxbridge offer in the end: a place to study Engineering at Jesus College, Cambridge, on the condition that I get at least 3 A*'s and an A at A-level. People have expressed various opinions on this. Some say that it's just Cambridge being Cambridge, cherry picking the high-flying students and dangling the carrot at the very edge of their reach. Others claim that the requested grades are so high as to be unfair, especially given how another student in my year has an offer from the same university for a relatively mild 4 A's. Me? I'm just glad I have an attainable target. It gives me some insurance in case I don't quite get the 90% in Chemistry for an A*, yet at the same time it pushes me to aim for one.
The work ethic isn't just limited to the exam room, of course, or even the subjects that I'm currently studying. For a start, I'm fascinated by the origins of words and the quirks of language, for which I have so many examples that it is difficult to choose just one. Did you know that the words 'Arctic' and 'Antarctic' came from the Greek for 'bear' and 'no bears' respectively? I probably have enough trivia about the nonsensical Chinese language to fill an entire journal in its own right. A lot of my spare time last year was spent studying AS-level German, and I have a feeling that it was my teacher's overwhelming enthusiasm for this kind of thing that motivated me to continue.
It's not just languages either. Allow me to return to the
Four and the same plurality analogy once more: Nerd, of course, plays the lead role in today's discussion. Musician has his horn playing to keep on top of, such as the Grade 8 exam he took last week. Artist sets himself the goal of a Faffory page every fortnight, which keeps him on his toes even if there aren't any current MOCing projects. Finally, Blogger is the only one without deadlines of any sort, so you'd think that he'd be the first one to be dropped, but here he is writing this very entry.
So, there's an idea of what my academic culture is like. I push myself, sacrificing a potential social life in the process, and failure is simply motivation to keep going. All being well, I shall be off to university next year, where everybody around me will likely share the same attitude towards diligence. Everyone will be intelligent, so in our minds,
no-one will be; as daunting as it sounds, I look forward to it. Thanks for reading.
